I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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