Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
