If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
