I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
