I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
