Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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