I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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