whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Your cock deserves a montage
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
