Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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