I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
no you cant smoke seaweed
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
