The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
