i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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