I am in a vortex of obligation.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
