we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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