from now on my penis is your penis
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
