bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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