The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
