K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
True strength comes from lack of pants
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize