found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
