a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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