I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
