The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize