im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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