College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
