Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
