Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
