She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
