quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This is classic penis vs brain.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
