I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
