it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
