oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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