all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
