also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
