drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
