Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
