He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
