i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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