Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
