I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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