So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
