This is not my ceiling
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
