Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize