better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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