I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
