Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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