porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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