My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
