i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
