Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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