she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's like heaven, but drunker
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
