i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
