The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
