well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
