well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Damn victory sex feels great
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