I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
How's work?
Spinning.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Randomize
