she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
