Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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