I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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