it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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