So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
