that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think i have two assholes
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize