He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
