i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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