So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
