You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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