I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
