the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
