dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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