Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
