Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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