I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
