I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize