im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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