Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
