She announced her abortion via fbk
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
did i just pee glitter
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
