But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
