Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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