i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
